Ever since I was 13 I have had really low self-esteem. I started cutting myself in 7th grade, and in 8th grade I was bulimic. Looking at me now you would never think that I was bulimic, because in previous posts I want to loose weight. Anyways, I lost all of my friends because of stupidity. I gained on friend who actually helped turn my life around. I ended up liking him and he ended up lying to me. I fell in love for the frist time to a complete asshole who never had the balls to tell me he didnt like me. Everytime I would get my hopes up he would tear them down which made me feel worthless. I still feel like Im worthless and no one will ever love me.
Looking at all of the mistakes I’ve made…The backstabbing, the stealing, the smoking, the drinking, the critisizing, the fuck up, the falling in love with a lie, everything. I cant stand that I let myself get as fucked up as I am.

Dont get me wrong, I love getting high. (two other things on my list=D) But I have gotten emotional by being high because im so paranoid. I have gotten emotional while drinking because I have no other way of letting it escape.

I NEED to forgive myself, so I can love myself.