I know exactly what you mean!!!Before I would always feel a big urge and ALOT of anxiety …. But now am waaaay more at ease … more relax not feeling all terrified of who gonna come to my house and hiding all the time or feeling guilty and depressed and ugly . Not picking is the best feeling in the world i feel i could actually DO ANYTHING!!!! Because before i wouldnt wanna go to work or school or anything just hide and now that i dont pick I dont have to worry about putting make up if i dont want to i know my face feels and looks great !!! Before i Would HAVE to wear make up even if i didnt want to now i just enjoy putting make i know its very hard and difficult I’ve done it for 9 yrs none stop i didnt actally think i could do it . For me just looking in the mirror i would automatically pick i wouldnt even think about it . It was like an automatically reaction like i said i hope i dont relapse i hope i keep it up !! But please dont give up !!! Do whatever you need to do ….Whatever it takes to overcome this … and not just win a battle but the war ! whats helping me to stop is going to a mental counselor once a week has helped so so so much . My counselor is So helpful he has helped me so much hes very nice and understanding… at first its really hard to talk about it .. i was so embarrasing and ashamed but i had to do what i had to to beat this … You do whatever you think is gonna help you to stop this …. Its so Worth it!!!! dont give up on yourself … you are so worth it …