I dont know who I am. Its sad but true and its caused me to have almost no friends and for former friends to completely ignore me. I am trying to discover myself but I am having a hard time.

I think it also has something to do with the attitude of the state I live in (Arizona) and the fact that I am not a member of the religion which most people in my town are which has lead me to be isolated. I need to leave this state I’ve lived here far too long and its obvious that I dont belong here however I dont have the money to leave and I cant get a job so I’m stuck here. I’ve lived about half my life here with a brief stinct overseas because of my Dads job and it has made me realize that I truly dont belong here. People are so fake here that its made me lose faith in the Western Part of the U.S. I’ve been stabbed in the back more than once here and gone through so much drama and bull shit its ridiculous. I am in college but its a community college so it would be a big deal if I left at the end of the semester. I am going to keep trying to get a part time job and stick it out for another semester so if I get a job I can save up money and have a year of college behind me. I’ve got nothing holding me here except the lack of money. I curse the lack of jobs in this small town that forces me to stay. This place is not good for me.

I think that I should move back to Maryland even though I dont remember anyone from there since they all moved. However I need a fresh start somewhere not out west. I’ve always admired the University of Maryland College Park and Towson University so I think I would like to end up at one of those Universities. I would continue at a Community College out there to earn my associates degree to make it easier to transfer to a University. However I am going to need help and I am not going to get it from my family as they live overseas and they want me to stay in Arizona and they dont know half of the bs I’ve gone through because they wont listen. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!