Math R. is fitter, happier, more productive, on antibiotics...

overcome depression and anxiety (read all 7 entries…)
Ups and downs, but I think I'm on the right track. 4 years ago

Things got pretty fucked up when we flew back from NYC, and my mood became exhaustingly random once again for, say, something like a month. So I decided that it was time, once more, to try something else.

Since I know for a fact that depression will always be lurking around, maybe the best strategy is a preventive one, one that will prevent moodswings instead of merely curing them once they’re chewing through my sanity.

So, new psychiatrist (kind of an asshole, btw), and new medicine, not an antidepressant anymore, but a mood stabilizer, Lamictal (that also happens to be an anticonvulsivant, the exact same stuff my mother uses to prevent epilepsy… trying hard not to see a pattern here).

It’s been about a month, and I feel way more stable already, emotionally speaking. I have, indeed, less moodswings, and the best part is clearly that they don’t last more than, like, 30 minutes, instead of screwing me up for several days.

(“True” says my love, while looking at pretty pictures by Helmut Newton, another great gift she gave me…)

So, yay for stability!

Only hoping that it won’t mean the end of my creativity, but this fear is somehow drifting away…



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Math R. is fitter, happier, more productive, on antibiotics...

Hi there,

My turn to be glad, really.
Bipolar disorder can wreak havoc in your life, and support is essential. Even though I feel like we don’t share some of our core beliefs (typically, I really don’t believe we have a “purpose” on earth whatsoever, apart from the one we create by ourselves, day after day – my only faith is in myself!), it makes my day to know that reading this little post of mine could enlighten your day and somehow help you.

In the past two years, yep, I have grown very stable, I am still using that medication (Lamictal) and my mood is pretty much under control. My creativity hasn’t vanished either, which is great. Also, I don’t see a therapist anymore, since I accepted once and for all that, pretty much like asthma or diabetes, bipolar disorder is an essentially physiological disease, that needs to be primarily treated with medicine rather than psychotherapy (even though psychotherapy can’t hurt either).

I wish you all the best in finding your own way to deal with it. Even though BD is sometimes excruciatingly disabling, I’ve also found myself being able to feel things in a deep, intense way, that I value as a precious treasure (insert Gollum voice here), especially when it comes to creative endeavours.

Also, I have the extraordinary luck to have married an amazing woman who understands and accepts me as I am, with my strengths and weaknesses – which are sometimes the same.

Anyway, good luck, fellow bipolar.
I hope with all my heart you’ll find your own way to turn this curse into a blessing.

Math


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