For all those reasons, plus I always seem to get screwed in Secret Santa exchanges, with the person who likes me least drawing my name and gifting accordingly.

This is what we do at the company I work with. Everybody draws a name and buys a gift to be donated to a children’s home/Toys For Tots, or whatever. Only you buy something with the co-worker whose name you drew in mind.

For instance, I draw the tight-ass accountant’s name and I buy a toy cash register. The CEO gets a Monopoly game. Or for the annoying woman who is always announcing the weather forecast over the loudspeaker, I get her a cute umbrella for a little girl. The office priss, she gets Princess Barbie of course. And the bald, lazy guy gets a Mr. Potato Head. You get the point. It’s a lot more fun, especially when you make an inside joke out of it.