Mimilin_yaya check out my blog at curiousaboutgod.wordpress.com!
So i feel socially isolated all the time. I just really feel awkward around people to the point that my heart races whenever i’m around them! So lately i’ve been trying to FORCE myself to talk to people. I really hate using my phone so i’ve been forcing myself to use it. I don’t like talking to people so i’ve been FORCING myself to just let go the fear and just say ‘hey’ . So this has been happening for two days so far and i really want to get over this social phobia!!! It’s affecting me every single day and it’s torturing me. I mean it is so bad to the point where i want to be alone all the time. What if it’s just my personality? I really don’t feel part of society. Sometimes if i’m around people i don’t know i freeze and my heart races. It lasts for about 15 seconds and after i just feel so embarassed and i just want to run from them!. Sometimes i have to say ‘i’m sorry, i didn’t hear you’ when they’re sitting right beside me! lol sooo embarassing. I truly feel though that we have to take baby steps. I really don’t want to just come out of my shell suddenly and then go back in because then i’d feel lke giving up and sticking to my own world (because it feels that way). I’m majoring in a course where i have to do presentations for the rest of my life and i’m scared. This semester i even have an oral exam. I don’t want to stammer or mix up words that don’t make sense lol (phew i just had to get that out! :D)
I need advice. What do you guys think about this? I feel like i need therapy. Is this a disorder where we need medication (and i don’t want to take any) or is it something that we can get over naturally by outlining things that we HAVE to do even once a week or everday to improve our interaction with people?
P.S i don’t go out. It’s just University (scary people!) then home.