spreadyourwings is readjusting my attitudes!
Luke, I love you and I will always love you. You have been like a big brother figure to me for so long that I can’t believe I sent that email the other week. But, I hope you understand how much it hurts me- that I invest so much in our friendship and you can’t be naffed to explain why you can’t turn up for one single hour or for one cup of coffee. I couldn’t keep being put back to the bottom of the pile and I had to put my foot down! Enough was enough. You cancelled on me when you were able to go out and walk with David and her in the snow. We’ve had that conversation before- SO I’m not going to repeat myself.
If you ever get angry or scared or upset… or you need me at all I will ALWAYS be here to listen and to be a good friend. I love to hear anything about how you are doing or what you are doing BUT in recent years that info has been dwindling. You have gone from being willing to talk to me, to being a silent party- like I’m some sort of spy or enemy. You sit and sip your coffee silently. Occasionally moan about this/that/her but nothing more.
Your girlfriend may hate me! And she may have behaved like a little child for the last few years BUT I accept the choices YOU have made. Maybe she needs to be told that I was the one that pushed you to go and ask her out in the first place!!!! Maybe she needs to be told that I love Ben. Loved my life with the red head and then Heath. Wasn’t after you in any inappropriate way.
I need you to know that I am proud of you! Proud of everything you have achieved over the last few years. How you have grown as a person.
I also need to thank you for all the random excursions and walks. Need to thank you for the thoughtful presents of old and the days spent walking and saying nothing at all because we were ok with it… because we were friends. I need to thank you for helping me through the hard times and for being there to make the happy times even happier. If I was in trouble- you were right there beside me getting in trouble and having a laugh. Hey, we knew life had to change didn’t we.
Always remember all of these things & hopefully- don’t forget me and where I am. I’m just not chasing after you anymore…
Pathetic as it sounds… In the words of Winnie the Pooh… “Promise you won’t forget me, because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.”
To end on a fun note- because this is positive. You will succeed in your degree!!!! AND you will end up with the kind of job you deserve!!! I have every faith in you! “If I had one gift that I could give you, my friend, it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you, because only then would you know how extremely special you are.”