was over, lol. no I am not the clean freak OCD.but I have my highs. today I realized I am still up there. not in my right mind. IDK new meds ? same meds? this whole week has been a risk taking thing. clue#1 drinking and shouldn’t yea yea its not that bad, but for me I know the down depressing triggers, usually that is one, won’t go into full disclosure, but I know I am heading my way to another manic turn. left or right? IDK. that’s the problem Im used to the depression side of this, the happy moods I think I have aren’t really me. thats what I have noticed this week. went to therapy today that was a waste of time. the Doc is outta town so know help there.

can’t sleep clue #2. when I do, finally fall asleep it’s not that much, even with the sleeping shit they got me on. up that lol no. I have to get the kids up in the morning to go to school. they were late 2x this week bc I couldn’t wake outta the medicated stupor I was in. clue #3. not eating. normally I eat once or twice a day, but don’t even think of food, not just to feed me but forget to feed them. clue#4 forgetful, seriously cannot remember half the shit that I say or that went on this week. I have a planner and if I don’t write it down then, or once a week put my appts in my phone than I am all fucked up forget to pick y kid of from school yea that was a clue too. feel like the shitty mom who left her kid at the store. when I got the phone call to pick my kid up. we laughed but still.
made it up to her. did arts and crafts. need more t-shirts to draw and design now.
which reminds me gotta go get her now. til I write again.