I used to think that “losing weight” was enough of a definable goal. And I’ve been to enough management seminars throughout my career to know about SMART goals.

BUT, and oh boy is it a big but, I can’t seem to just will power myself away from the stupid addictive behaviors I have with sugar.

This cannot be blamed on a lack of knowledge. I KNOW that I shouldn’t eat as much sugar as I do. I KNOW the physiological effects of doing this to my body, and yet I just don’t stop. Why?

Part of this project is to redefine the wagon. And then decide to stay on it instead of falling short of the ‘lose 20 pounds goal’ time and time again and sinking into the pit of despair and failure.

When I sat down a little over a week ago to reengage on 43T, I looked at all the goals I knocked out of the park a few years ago here.

What is it about this community that made me more productive than say, facebook, or working with my husband?

Best guess is the anonymous part where most people here have never, and will never see me in person. It’s not considered oversharing to write about progress. This got me thinking, as the daughter of an addict, the exgirlfriend of a recovering addict, the exwife of another addict, and the former lifelong friend of a few addicts, WHAT could I learn from al anon? Or perhaps the 12 step program in it’s entirety?

I kept a food journal for a week. Turns out I can’t go a meal without dessert. Also, there seems to be an embargo on vegetables.

I didn’t assign any blame. I just kept track of things.

This week, I will drink more water, and add a veggie or two.