MyHouseIsAZoo it's a GIRL!!! :)
how deeply my family’s reaction to the baby has affected me. i finally told one of the girls at work whom i’ve been meaning to tell and she was asking why i was keeping it a secret. i tried to shrug it off at first but ended up telling her about my family’s ambivalent reaction and my feelings about how they reacted and i started feeling myself ready to burst out into tears. they have been a bit better lately (still not ‘excited’ and of course have their input about what the names should be, etc) but it’s still not the reaction i want and need from them. and from what i can tell, if it’s not a girl they are going to be even more annoying… trying to let it all go but it’s not easy. it’s my first child. i will be happy either way, but sometimes i just feel like with my family, as great as they have been to me all of these years, nothing i do is ‘good enough’. working through this…at least trying.