wellonheels is holding steady at average.

live my life on my own terms, not trying to live up to the expectations of others (read all 2 entries…)
This is a *really* tough one for me.

When I’m home and about to sit down, I find myself always thinking, “What’s he going to complain about if I sit down—what’s not done?”. I know he expects me to be just like him, and I’m not, nor would I ever want to be. He just expects everyone to be like him, especially me.

I have to just live my life – do the things I have to do and then when I want to do something just do it, no matter the reaction, and not allow him to upset me.
I don’t have to explain myself to him. I’m an adult, capable of making my own choices in life, and if I make choices he considers “wrong”, that’s my option. And that’s what I have to tell myself. And him.

Apr 20, 2010, 08:24AM PDT


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Apr 22, 2010, 12:37AM PDT

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Apr 22, 2010, 05:18AM PDT

wellonheels is holding steady at average.

Being Me

Thanks for your understanding. It helps to be here to vent, if nothing else. We have good weeks and bad weeks, good days and bad days – just like everyone in the world. I just have to stay strong and stay ME, and not let him try to change me, unless I want to change for myself. I happen to like me mostly the way I am, and he’s going to have to deal with that. I just have to be firm, and BE ME. After all, he married ME, not himself. So there. ;)

I know that much of the time, what he wants is for me to just be a better person (i.e. more “perfect”) so I try to let it go. Sometimes it’s just so hard, though. He knows how to push my buttons, for sure.

All relationships can be difficult – this just seems to be more difficult, in different ways, than any I’ve ever been in before. It sure could be a lot worse, though. Every relationship has its “things”.

Apr 22, 2010, 05:19AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

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Apr 22, 2010, 06:47PM PDT

wellonheels is holding steady at average.

I like me

mostly the way I am. Little things I don’t mind changing, like the way I cook certain things so it’s more like the way he’s used to – that I don’t mind at all. It’s the things like him wanting to have the house 100% perfectly clean before I ever leave the house to do anything fun (have to finish all your work before you can have any fun, which I completely disagree with). Or how I’m not so perfectly organized like he is, but I can still find what I want when I need it.
I don’t particularly want to change, he just wants me to. So we fight about stupid things because he doesn’t like to accept that he married me, flaws and all.
There are things I’d like him to change too, but I live with them. I guess I’m just more accepting of people the way they are…

Apr 23, 2010, 04:59AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

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Apr 23, 2010, 01:29PM PDT

We split everything... sort of. - wellonheels
Untitled - Sand_Man

 

I want to:

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find the most peaceful place on Earth improve my public speaking skills confused101 wants to Beat my depression get up on time learn to play the harmonica cast a spell on someone. go to the oscars watch southpark Strength train paint my kitchen Learn to cook create a non-profit organization make a collage shoemaker wants to have more self control find at least one thing each day that makes me happy and record it everyday for a year Sing figure out what clothes suit me and fit me Watch a Joan of Arcadia Episode i want to live in the wild embrace Upgrade my PC Become Financially Independent house ATLfemme wants to meet like minded people dream lucidly bellydance build an online portfolio read 12 books in 2010
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