Im feeling quite reminiscent today, mainly due to having to use my old mobile for the next few days and seeing all the old messages sent to and from my ex-best friend. Proof that such a thing existed.

Its hard to believe its come to this really, as much as I had encouraged this break. The messages document only the good times, the fun times, the future plans we shared but thats all gone and even if the opportunity arose to get that back I dont know if it is one I would take. Maybe with someone else but not her.

It can never be her again, its past that… its times like this I have to repeat the reasons I decided to distance myself from her in the first place, as if these seem enough. But they were enough then and they will be enough again I guess.

I have tried to put more energy into my other friendships, new and old. I am succeeding in a way which makes me happy and optimistic. Whats past is past, and theres a reason she hasnt made it to my future… but there are friends Id fight to keep no matter what. Friends I can depend on to be there… in comparison to them, I havent lost anything! So why does it feel that way… I miss her sometimes, but the girl I once knew was changed and gone long before our friendship dissolved.

So why do I feel this way..?