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An Often Misunderstood Characteristic Of Communication

It’s important to stay in regular communication with others, particularly those you love or are inter-dependent with.

Most people know that communication breeds understanding. Fewer people may understand that in the uncontrollable back and forth of conversations with diverse individuals, in that unfettered reality of communication, accountability increases and tends to improve.

When you stop communicating with others, that can be a red flag you are avoiding reality. Communication tends to promote accountability because we are constantly reminded of others’ perspectives, and we cannot as easily contain and control the scope and considerations of issues discussed.

If you’ve stopped talking with others, ask yourself why. Did they raise issues you didn’t want to face? What silenced you toward them or others? Was it them? Was it you? If it was a combination of both, then to what degrees?

When you throw up absolute barriers to communication, it can be for good reasons, but that is rare. Most reasonable people don’t have to create enforced silences. Most kind people don’t have to exclude others to create nearly absolute control of their social environments.

What makes you silent? What makes you exclude others? Look first into yourself to find those answers. When you’re willing to face what you keep from facing in yourself and what you try to keep hidden about yourself from others, you may find you don’t have to exclude others and live such a sheltered life.

If you find yourself selecting and dismissing friends based on whether or not they’re willing to agree to avoid discussing with you the things you don’t wish to discuss, that’s a red flag. If you only keep a small, exclusive group of friends because they’ve agreed to not discuss the elephants in your house, you can probably function in that limited existence. The choices are yours.

Having substantive conversations with many people is a reckless and dangerous endeavor. If you find yourself cutting off communications that challenge you, investigate why.


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