It’s 7:51, and 4 has turned into 10. What the fuck has to happen for me to wise the fuck up and just STOP?
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I hear ya
I completely understand. How many times I have thought the same thoughts. 3 DUI’s didn’t do it. My children saying things to me, infrequently but they all mentioned it. My inability to make it into work. The call of the bottle was too strong to not respond.
Then my son told me it would be his 6th month of sobriety on the 8th of this month. My 27 year old son. HIs clarity and ability to articulate the fog he has come through to regain control over his life was humbling. His dedication & commitment & belief in AA has been a truly transformative presence.
We all have a the key. Its simply a matter of finding it & then hanging on to it for dear life. Because it truly is our lives at stake. I hope you find yours, its there.
Your here so you can make good decisions, believe in yourself…...
Hey Day_2!! I was just reading about your son reaching the 6th month mark and commitment to the AA program. I think that’s awesome and as a fellow member of AA, I can proudly tout the programs success. I was just wondering are you also using the program as a part of your own sobriety?
Now, Johnny, bro…There are a lot of people I read about their drinking on this forum and I truly believe they can just quit with some determination and commitment to this goal, and then there are others, like myself, who I believe REALLY need the more help than that. I have read your entries which began 20 MONTHS AGO (!!) and reveal a depth of problematic drinking which screams additional aid is not just recommended but plain and simply, a necessity. The AA program would seriously benefit you my friend. I hope you will humble yourself into a position of checking out some meetings in your area. I would be glad to help you find some meetings near you. Otherwise, you just might have to drink to the point of being reasonable enough to get the help you need. Your alcoholism wants you dead, but it will settle for broken and miserable.
Please respond as I want to know what you think about this or if you have considered it yet.
I am not, as of yet anyways. I do not preclude it as an option though. I have seen the tremendous success it has had for many. I agree with your comment above though & see it as a continuum of care, per se. Some needing minimal some needing maximum & for us to find our way to where it is we need for success.
I have thus far been able to remember “Your alcoholism wants you dead, but it will settle for broken and miserable.” And everyday take one step forward.
I think that is one of the most impressive things I have seen with the program is the ability for it to keep it’s members sober for years and years for the remainder of their lives if they so choose. The other impressive factor is the level and degree of alcoholism/addiction I have seen, and lives left in ruins, transformed into people with no trace of showing signs of their past, both in freedom from addiction and also lives completely rebuilt and restored to a condition never quite possible before. In other words, I have seen the completely hopeless alcoholic transformed into beacons of prosperity, hope, and freedom from alcoholism that is not only inspiring but baffling.
I personally can thank AA for my own long term sobriety because by continuing to go to meetings and hearing of others relapse stories when they got away from the program, I often see myself. I know what it feels like to start to feel complacent that I have this thing beat now, or maybe NOW, I can drink like a gentleman. Truth is, I very well may be able to. The fact is, I probably cannot and testing those waters is playing Russian roulette with my life. Plus, I realize by staying in AA, I REALLY DO NOT miss drinking and the effects produced by it. Some of the effects are temporarily nice, but it is the sum of the effects that I must consider.
I am glad you like the quote: “Your alcoholism wants you dead, but it will settle for broken and miserable”. It is one of my favorites I have overheard in the rooms that really resonated with me having fully known what it feels like to know how true those words are. I saw your post which started with that quote that reveals you also know the depth of truth in that statement.
Thanks for the reply and it’s always great hearing from you, reading your posts, and your encouragement to others in the forum! You are a good example of how to get this goal done for yourself and how to be of service to others which is actually one of the principles of AA. The belief is that by helping other alcoholics gain their sobriety, we also protect our own…very true.
Johnny, still waiting to hear back from you bro.
I’ve considered attending an AA meeting, yes. There’s something about it that steers me away from it and I’m not sure what exactly it is. I don’t feel like I’m better than going to an AA meeting, but it’s a little nerve-racking. I will say that I’ve been to therapy to try and help and it hasn’t really. I’ve also since stopped going.
Last night I had my frist sober night since sometime in July. Almost 2 months. That’s absolutely crazy to me. Here’s what I learned:
Chocolate milk > Beer.
Last night was the first of many nights. I’m over it. I’m not going to destroy what I have.
russdog a'int going out like that
My wife saying it was her or the bottle…...45 days in jail…...losing my license and my new job…..my third DUI and my second totaled truck….thousands of dollars down the drain….the stigma of being known around town as “the drunk”.
Man, when you truly get sick and tired of being sick and tired…..you’ll know. This disease is progressive.
Just try not to take any innocent people down with you.
Johnny has gotten 1 cheer on this entry.
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