Ana Marte is trying to overhaul her life one day at a time!
I have always been a naturally happy, cheerful person, until I started to get depressed at about the age of 12. You’d think, why should you have gotten depressed then? Well, my mother didn’t want me to socialize with other kids whose parents she was not familiar with. And when the parents did introduce themselves, they weren’t good enough, or she thought they let their kids have too much freedom. Also, my life history and family history are n way near perfect. Let’s just say I had a bad childhood. After age 14-15, I thought she had no reason to be strcit, since I was more responsible. I was #1 in my class for 5 years in a row, I was a good kid. But no, she got stern and practically threatened me. I’ve never had a boyfriend because if I even attempted to leave or hang out with anyone, she’d go get me and embarrass me in front of anyone. Pull my hair, smack me, yell at me. She said too many girls around me were becoming pregnant and irresponsible. I had goals and dreams, and becoming pregnant was not part of them, but she never understood that. This got me even more depressed, and my loneliness caused my downfall in the last two years of high school. I know I could have been great if I had something to motivate me, someone to cheer me up. I felt so hopeless.
I tried to work back then but I couldn’t, I felt miserable. A lot of kids my age were happy and living life and I lost what were supposed to be the happiest/free years of my life. I tried to leave but I wanted to graduate and go to college. I wanted to stay in contact with my brother. Because I’ve basically been forcefully shielded from socializing, I have become quite awkward when it comes to talking, communicating with others. My mother now wants me to socialize after she has noticed I’ve further distanced myself from her, and have come to resent her for it. Right now I have bipolar depression and desperately want to get better. So in an attempt to start over and become the best I can be, I will socialize more. I want to become a social butterfly and roam free when I choose. And I won’t stop from today on, you can count on it. Good luck everyone whose wants to do this as well!