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the awakening...n again.. n again

i dont know how i have always managed to set a pattern in my life for all the bad things and not the good things..bad relationships..bad food habits..god! the funny part is..iv come through pretty ok..i sometimes envy people..like this friend of mine who is just not as attached to people as i am.. she had no problems leaving her boyfriend..temporary at that..n goin away to the US..n she is just one of those people who doesn’t let things affect her too much..but i’d rather not be her..coz she hasnt ever loved passionately..or felt loss…well i can tell u im feelin my loss right now..but i just hope for his sake my man finds happiness in whatevr shape or form he’s looking for..i love him..but he’s not mine..it hurts..but nobody said life was fair!
i am desperately trying to be more mature about things..i keep oscillating.. about 9 months back i was in the best shape of m life! n i let it go after a while..got depressed about HIM and just became an emotional eater..i shouldnt do that..i should learn to live without emotonal props anymore…
im tryin..hitting the books..wokring out..watchin my weight,..im being good..i just hope it lasts..im gonna be beginning a new phase of my life after a while..gonna get my law degree..n move on to journalism..n before i become a “professional” i wanna look feel n be the best i can..so when life gioves me opportunities i am up to the challenge…
it just feels good to know that there r so many other people out there just like me..trying to decode life..keep at it guys….


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