I just actually said the sentence ‘be still my heart’...

I realize I want to be an artist. Or actually that I am an artist. I already knew it for years, but I only just realized it. I really want to study Fine Arts, it’s what my heart really goes out to. It will have to wait though, because I’m still going with plan 1.

Why?
CMD is close to home and not as intensive as Art. That means I will have a lot more time through the three or four years of the study. I will use it to create an amazing portfolio. I will learn al lot of the things I’ve wanted to learn. And I will live, travel, change and save money for Art school.

Why else?
Call me an idiot, but my mother’s happiness is related to my actions. She does not want me to live on my own and thinks CMD is the best choice, with most job opportunities.
And call me an even bigger idiot, but I don’t want to end up being someone saying ‘Mom told me to ^{do this or that}. She was right and I wish I had listened to her!’.

One and a half years ago I wouldn’t have cared and done whatever I wanted. Especially move out to another city. But things have changed meanwhile.

Gwah, how I would love to just follow my heart. But it will be okay. Right?