I really don’t fully understand why I get so angry, usually over nothing of real consequence. I didn’t even realize I was so temperamental until recently. I think some people who’ve gotten to know me in grittier situations, not just in social settings, but settings where there is a goal involved and challenges to be faced, have seen me lose my temper, and I think they’ve tried to reflect that back at me, but I’ve been in denial about it until now.
I think it’s gotten worse, which may be, ironically, a good thing. I think whatever the source of this crap is, it needs to be dealt with, certainly before I can be a good husband, before I have kids. I think my anger is holding me back from accomplishing so many of the other things on my list, because, well… for a lot of reasons. Reasons that are clear to me, but not so easy to put into words.
I don’t feel good about myself, and I’m not sure how I can start until I get over my anger, and I don’t know how I can do that until I start to feel better about myself… I really have no idea how to break this cycle.