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funniculee is prepared

Deal with my neighbor issues
My upstairs neighbor is mostly a sweet lady

but she has problems, and they affect me.

Aside from myriad health and finance issues (which make it difficult for me to approach her about the problems that affect me), she has:

1. Three small dogs, two of whom have a persistent barking problem.
2. A serious problem with clutter, which has taken over the front porch. She has lots of stuff, and she also will not throw away her bottles/cans etc., even though the garbage is several steps away.

Problem 2 is off the table for the moment, as it’s winter time and the porch isn’t being used. I have some ideas for how to deal with this tactfully. The porch is demonstrably my space also. I think maybe if I take some leadership in the upkeep I can encourage better clutter management, at least in our shared areas.

Problem 1 – I don’t know what to do. I actually like her dogs just fine except for the barking. As a pet owner myself, it’s hard for me to criticize people for their pets’ behavior, and I know it bugs her too. But for whatever reason, financial, lack of will, difficulty of the task, the persistent barking is not being addressed, and I think it might be getting worse.

I don’t really want to go to the landlord unless I have no option, but I’m not sure how best to address this, especially since it’s been almost a year now that I’ve been putting up with this. It seems weird to broach the subject now, and I don’t want her to get kicked out or anything.

Most solutions to barking problems are going to involve financial resources or time or energy that she doesn’t have. And I don’t really want to take over responsibility for taking better care of her dogs, although I feel for them, because that just seems like a boundary I don’t want to cross.

What the heck can I do? I don’t want to move, I love my apartment and my neighborhood otherwise, and she is a great neighbor in other respects so I don’t want to fight a battle with her.



Comments:

(This comment was deleted.)

funniculee is prepared

Thanks, that's actually all very helpful.

I suspect that changing my own reaction to the dogs barking is going to be a big part of the solution at least in the short term. I won’t be able to approach my neighbor directly (if I even decide to do so) unless I’m calm and not resentful about the issue. So I will try to focus on the negative spaces more – they are usually much quieter when she is at home, so there is probably more quiet overall than I realize.

And thanks for the perspective – I’m now picturing 13 horses rummaging around the backyard and thanking my lucky stars. :)

Moose I'm sure I will be happy if I apply myself

I know this is really obvious

but if you’re trying to change your reactions in the first instance, could you try earplugs for those times when you really have to focus on something and shut out the noise?

I have a MAJOR problem with other people’s noise, it gets to me an irrational amount and I wear earplugs quite a lot of the time when I know the noise is just my neighbours’ daily banging about and asking them to stop would be unreasonable. Doing this has really helped me reclaim my audio space. I know it doesn’t suit everyone though.

Oh and a tip: swimmers’ earplugs are generally more comfortable/effective than the ones you get at the drugstore, at least they are in this country.

funniculee is prepared

I may try that...

The big issue is that our living rooms face the street (prime barking real estate!), and that’s where all of my music-listening and movie-watching equipment is…so they’re often barking right on top of me when I’m trying to watch a film or listen to music or have dinner while listening to music…it’s kind of a drag.

I have decent earplugs, though, so I will give it a try during those times I’m not actively listening to something else.

Moose I'm sure I will be happy if I apply myself

well it might

help some of the time, at least.

Of course there’s secret option 3 which involves turning up the music/tv loud enough to hear through the earplugs, which also lets those around you know you’ve had enough, but I’d never condone passive-aggressive behaviour like that, oh no.

(This comment was deleted.)

 

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