seeking~serenity is a hot mess (blah)
I haven’t written an entry on either one of these…it’s time!
First off, the not-so-good
——-> The relationship I had been in for about a year ended at the beginning of the month-it was mutual. Within that time, I never truly felt I could branch out, feel comfortable and be the real me. I was always thinking of what to say and how to say it. That was a big problem for me, but I thought maybe it’d change or I’d feel a different way…I never did. Neither one of us were wanting to really work hard to get to a better place and it really wasn’t a good time to do so, anyways. We were just too different from one another. Everything happens for a reason.
Now, the wonderfully perfect
—- -> I feel like I’ve found my other half in an old friend I’ve recently gotten back in touch with! It all seems like a dream; too-good-to-be-true but it is true! I know I’m just coming from a breakup, but that doesn’t affect anything. I’ve always had feeling for “J” and he’s always had feelings for me!
He makes me so comfortable in being myself and acting the way I do. The things I say and think and feel…he does too! I’ve never met anyone like him and I’m so friggin’ happy -all the time! He’s not even in the same state right now but I’m so excited for what we have.
My confidence, in general, has been heading up…way up! Thanks a bunch to this incredible person to help me feel ME! For once, I don’t feel silly for what I say, my thought process or my pieces of knowledge that some get irritated by. He gets it. He understands me and I understand him. It’s an absolutely incredible feeling to know you’re accepted – and appreciated – for being you! C= What a heavenly high I’m on. <3
EDIT: I am reading over this on 1-11-12, realizing that my “wonderfully-perfect other half” that I mentioned is none of those things. Although he did have beautiful qualities—they didn’t show all the time. We broke up 12-21-11. I need to raise my standards of what I feel a relationship should be. That is all. Good-bye.