The man I’m currently seeing had an affair with a married woman a few years ago. They’ve been friends for something like 15 years, and he told me about the affair because he didn’t want any secrets between us. I’ve been dating him for a year and a half now, and we ended up breaking up once because of a whole bunch of things, but that’s not what I wanted to tell you.

I found out that he was continuing to talk to this woman throughout most of our relationship. He insisted it was purely platonic, but I found out otherwise. I have no idea if he was actually sleeping with her during our time together, but they were having an emotional, “I love you, you’re the one, I miss you, can’t wait to see you” affair.

I confronted him and he stopped speaking to her, but I know for a fact that by him doing that, it caused numerous problems. He would go to her with everything, not me. I felt emotionally neglected, because he was giving all his emotion to her. And it makes me angry because if someone is married, don’t fucking have an affair. Get divorced before you start seeing other people. Don’t ruin someone else’s chance at happiness because you want some forbidden sex and an ego boost. Go hire a prostitute if you’re married and that desperate.

I don’t have first hand experience, but an affair intruded on my life in a way I never thought it could or would.

Definitely NOT WORTH IT! I agree 100%.

The points you made in the examples you gave are very valid. In the first case, you didn’t know she was married when you became involved, so that wasn’t your fault. It happens to women all the time, having married guys lie to them about themselves being married in an attempt to get into their pants and then finding out later that the guy is married after he’s bedded them several or many times. Your experience there shows it goes both ways.
In your second case, you fell for something single girls also have fallen for since the beginning of the institution of marriage… married guys telling them that they will get a divorce and marry them, but never do. Yes, you may have been gullible, there, but, again, it shows it goes both ways for both genders.
In the third case, you knew what you were getting into with her. Sounds like she was being up front with you letting you know that she had no intent of changing her marital status, so there was a time-frame on it that would eventually expire, but in getting involved with a married woman, I’d think that’s to be expected going into it.

What you say is sound advise to consider. I am a single unmarried and unattached guy and I want to become sexually involved with a married woman like the third one you were involved with; who has no intention of changing it. I know you advise against it, but I will know it will be just an affair, as will she and we both will be upfront with each other that it will just be about physical pleasure for her that she is currently lacking. I know this might sound strange, but in my case, I want to be used physically, and am OK with it, because I will know that’s all it will be going into it. Yes, the intrigue and whatever bit of naughtiness that comes from it is exciting in the mind; I can’t deny that. But, I want to be used for sex by a married woman and in the end, be dropped and kicked to the side like a pair of panties she’s changing our of or, as you put it, “tossed to the curb with the trash or flushed like a used condom”. This is a goal of mine that I’ve wanted to experience for a long time and I have no problem with it. I know there will be a time frame and expiration date on it. May be it’s worth it, may be it’s not. I’d like to find out.