I have this wedding I’m meant to go to in a few days and the very idea of going paralyzes me.

First of all, it’s the first time a friend of mine is getting married, and I’m going to feel really weird, and frankly, at this time in my life, I could do without the thinking that’s bound to happen in my little head.

I also have no other friend who’s invited, so I’ll have no one to share the weirdness of that experience with, except for the bride who, obviously, will be very solicited and unreachable.

I also know most peeps there will be friends of the groom, who’s older, has a situation etc., so they’re all gonna make me feel like a jerk.

As beautiful a city as Rome is, I don’ feel comfortable at all spending a few days there on my own.

And last but not least, I’m terrified of flying because of my tinnitus. There are trains but it takes a long long time. Oh and I have to get a costume, presents, tickets, book a hotel… So I’ll come back not only depressed but also broke !

I really feel like not going but I don’t want to disappoint my friend. The civil wedding is taking place here in Paris so I’ll attend for sure but I’ve got a bad feeling about the whole trip thing. I should book right now (should have days ago) but just checking the different websites fills me with panic.