KhaoticNeutral is feeling kinda down.
I really want to start developing a set style but I keep flip-flopping between two general styles: the kinda chunky, chibi-esque style and the fine-lined detailed style. I don’t feel comfortable in either of them because I am constantly hitting knots that I can’t overcome, so I jump back and forth. With the detailed style, I find it hard to stay consistent as far as my characters’ bodies and facial structures so they always end up looking different in every image I make. With the chunky style, it’s the same, really, but mostly with the head and eyes. Even though there isn’t so much emphasis put on proportion, I tend to let that run away with me because I don’t have a proper grasp on facial structure. It’s the same with anatomy, as well. My women look too much like men, and my men look like funnels. And because I cannot get the body right NO poses ever come out right, either. It’s very frustrating.
Lastly, I need help drawing multiple characters in one setting. You wouldn’t believe how many great comic/artwork ideas I have but I am too damn scared to start them because I have a very. very weak grasp on multi-character interactions. I know, I know….you wouldn’t think it’s that hard but because of my aforementioned trouble areas, it really is. I will never forgot my senior art show in high school when I said in my artists statement that I liked “creating characters and world all my own” and when I got a review from one of my own friends, it said that he couldn’t see any worlds, just characters. It kind of hurt because I had known him for two years and he knew all of my stories and ideas but he was just being honest, and right. I realized that I had no actual creations of my characters all together. Not one. I could talk for HOURS, and HOURS about how they react to each other and feel about each other and tell you their histories, and personalities and all this other stuff, but I couldn’t put a pencil to paper and make it appear. I don’t know how two or more characters’ bodies will look when pressed together whether it be for a hug, a shove, or just touching each other, and it bothers me so much… I feel like my art is single-celled and it causes me to hate it sometimes…I feel like such a failure as a artist. I see amazing creators like Jay Naylor (whose work I recently discovered), and always say “Wow, I wanna draw like him/her”, and they do inspire me to get up and practice but once I hit a stumbling block, I get lost, and discouraged and fall into a block.
I have no one to blame but myself though. I don’t stray out of my comfort zone. I find something that I am okay with doing and I stick to it. That’s not how to grow as and artist, and trust me, I know, but I am just so anxious and pessimistic about venturing into anything new because it takes me so long to get comfortable with what I am “good” at. I’ve been drawing for eight years now but I realize that I know almost nothing. I don’t even have my basics down, and that’s sad. I just feel like I am starting from square one, and I need to get it together…