What kind of people do you want to meet? That might give you an idea where to start.

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so alone. I’ve met you, and you are a lovely person. If we lived in the same town, we’d hang out. I am SURE of this.

I could make a lot of suggestions about what to do, but I am not sure that you are looking for advice. Just know that you certainly look like great friend-material to me.

You will have to take some action to feel more connected, but I have faith that you will find your way.

If it helps, we think you’re wonderful and you’ve got all of us.
(_{that helps me in my isolation})

I avoid people willingly, the internet works good enough for me, but I realize most people want closer contact and conversation…I hope you find what you need, if not someone is always connected, as long as you have internet, you will have a human soul willing to listen.
<3 and peace...

And certainly families all have hot fuses but I think what you have is a serious case of teenagers. Ride out this storm. I know it seems like it lasts forever, but they do grow up and when they do, things change. Having teenagers can make anyone feel alone: they are actively moving away from you; they are separating themselves at the very moment you are anxious to hang on, to extend your protection, to glimpse their new lives.

I use to rattle around my house when my girls were off doing stuff. I would sit, fidget, read, then explode out of the house – to anywhere, a store, a park, just away from the walls. I had worked 2 and 3 jobs to support them. I had faced public humiliation when my older girl was in high school when she moved out. I carted their stuff to college and back for years on end. I dropped everything to go to their aid whenever necessary. And still I found myself alone. What I also found was that I like myself alone.

Your situation is different than mine, I know, but I do believe you are experiencing a part of the human condition that is widely known to be difficult. I hope that something of its universal nature leaves you feeling somewhat less alone.

My gut tells me that your active parenting will have created good kids, who will, once back in their right minds (around age 25) feel a little sheepish about their teen years. And by that time you will lose the pain as well.

Hugs.

My deep sympathies to you!

You are at a very pivotal transitioning time. It sounds like the water of your life has been stirred up for some time, and nobody could fault you for getting just plain tired of it.

I have a friend who is going through exactly what you describe, only with two daughters and a son being pulled about in confusing directions by her ex who undermined her discipline and often failed to pay his child support.

The encouragement I can offer is that I saw her through years of this battle, and heard her heart breaking for worry about her rebellious son that she was so afraid might pick up his father’s bad habits. But just today in church she announced her pride that her son had just acquired a new apartment of his own close by, having established himself in a good job for the past several months. His future looks bright. Not without bumps, perhaps, but it is beginning to look like he’s going to be okay.

That’s the thing. They rebel because they are confused, and often may be influenced by people who offer an easy out. But that doesn’t mean the good efforts you put into them are for nothing. With time and perspective they usually gain maturity, and can value the good advice and example you’ve given them.

I’m sorry for your own sense of being at a loss, and isolated. I know you’re a wonderful lady who deserves a solid posse of friends around her to lean on in rough times. When I get really hit-the-wall exhausted I feel most deeply my lack of a large social structure, but simultaneously feel least able to put forth the effort to change that. All I can say is I hope you get the rest you need, and the space to begin building the new structures of friends and activities you need to keep yourself strong.