This weekend nearly saw the end of my marriage, and in some ways bought me back to 43T.

I’ve described before our cyclical marriage – round and round we go. Every so often I contemplate divorce, but never much more than for a few hours, then he makes more effort, I fall in love again and all is fine and dandy until next time.

This weekend I made the mistake of leaving my laptop logged into facebook. He decided to write a silly fake status for a laugh and ended up reading through 4 years worth of my private message history. There were a couple of messages in there he wasn’t happy about.

After hours of blanking me he acknowledged his anger. I confessed I’d looked at his messages loads of times and read lots of PMs with girls he’s been in shows with that I wasn’t happy about either but nothing had been incriminating enough to incite me to confess my prying.

Several (very, very painful and sleepless) days later and we’ve both undertaken massive facebook ‘culls’. I’ve vowed not to go out drinking without him in future and to prioritise my family more, he’s agreed to wipe the slate clean and deal with some of his anger issues. Right now I am committed to making an effort to work at my marriage and ‘be a good wife’ but I’m not prepared to stay in an unhappy marriage. We’re agreed to review how we both feel in a months time. Sometimes I feel both of us undertaking project management roles has resulted in the same approach to our marriage!

How’s this bought me back to 43T? Well, I’ve realised that time spent on fb or crappy tv is wasted. My drinking/smoking/going out is stopping me from achieving my goals and I want to turn that around and 43T is the the very best way I know how to!