I was sitting here thinking about all the woes in my life and how I wish I had people I could turn to to help me get through all of this. and the thought came, “how much loss can one person handle.” I’ve lost so much in so many ways this last year, and every time I lost something and found new support, that new support became a loss in one way or another in time.

and as soon as I said that to myself, I thought…. wouldn’t you know I was reading Job right now. and he lost a whole lot more. but as I’ve been telling God since the beginning of my health problems – I’m not Job!!!

sometimes I can’t believe he was a real person, but he was.

well, in the middle of this post I just found out more rough news. but you know what? bizarre life that I grew up in, I’m comforted that there’s a new crisis. I know crisis well. It’s the recovering fully that I’m not used too. So I will go deal with that now.

~ feeling like I will never be anything else but a beaten down, scruffy little girl, cf