of the night – it felt good to be there. It did not feel good how little support we got from friends. We invited so many for the private viewing, and only 3 showed up. Quite a few people in general, that’s not the problem, there were lots of people around. But of my friends? Where were they?
Who knows how important this really is for me? I feel like I should tattoo this date into my skin, the first time I exhibit in a gallery; it’s of such impact to me.
But I feel alone.
And I’m asking myself whether it’s always gonna be this way. If I do what feels right and good for me, I tend to do it alone.
And I told many people, I was excited about this. And still am. But nobody sees me as an artist, while creating has been what I loved most for 26 years. Why do they not know me?
I talked with a few of the other artists which was great, it feels good to do that, share some of the experience, an understanding. They said my photography looks professional, even though I only have a small “tourist camera”. My artworks looked great, they were in good places, and I was happy with that. I just wish I could have shared it, really shared it with a friend. But the few who came don’t talk about art then but about work (we all used to work in the same place). This is not what I’m here for. I wish there was someone who could just really be with me in this. Not just in this.
Maybe it just gets me down more than usual tonight because I couldn’t share it with my family either, like so many things. I told them about it. Didn’t get a reply from my siblings, some kind of reply from my mum.
Who does really care?
I do.