I never quite understood why some people scare me off. It happened again some days ago, and I figured I got offended over nothing. These people merely criticized my interests! I started thinking about this, but I couldn’t figure out how this could offend me, and figured I felt “judged” by these people. They’d judge me to be “boring”, or whatever…
“Whatever”, I’d always say that.
“What if they judge me? Let them, I don’t care!”
But if I really don’t care, then why does it still scare me?
In the past few days I came across this old entry of mine; a breeze of fresh air! I finally realized I’m not proud of my interests, and have come to hide my opinions.
Let me explain that. When meeting me in person, I won’t say a whole lot. To strangers, my opinions are unrealistic, and my hobbies are a waste of time. I won’t tell anything unless asked (or drunk), but too much attention is likely to overwhelm me. If people just leave me alone, I get to observe their behavior. Occasionally you’ll find me making a few jokes, which is the first step I take in engaging conversation. It takes a long time for people to earn my trust, and I’ve wondered “why” for a long time now…
This is why.
Now I’m going to change it.