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stop drinking (read all 21 entries…)
Day 1

I have been saying for a while now that I want to quit drinking alcohol. I am just so scared.

I went to a party yesterday. Before the party, one of my friends came to my apartment. We each had a big glass of wine. Then we opened another bottle of wine and finished it. Then we left to go to the party. The hostess said my friend who was drinking with me was drunk. I was not. I had some sangria at the party, and on the way back to my apartment, we bought a big bottle of vodka. We drank half the bottle. I blacked out, and don’t remember going to bed. I woke up very hungover today, and it made me decide to stop. But I am worried that as soon as I feel better, my resolve to not drink will disappear.

Two months ago, drunk, I lost my phone in a cab. I got into an argument with the cab driver. He called the police. It was so embarrassing. I never got the phone back.

A week later, I lost my brand new phone in another cab. Thankfully I did get that one back. But I blacked out. The last thing I remember was being out at the bar, and then the next thing I can recall was being awake and walking around in my apartment around 6am, and hearing a scratching sound at my door. When I opened the door, my cat was out there, scratching to be let in. He is definitely an indoor cat only, and he wasn’t wearing his collar because it broke a few days before. He loves to run out of my apartment and walk around the floor. I always go after him and bring him back. I have no recollection of how he got out, and if anything ever happened to him because of my drinking, I would never forgive myself. It makes me sick to my stomach knowing that I endangered him.

I just finished reading Drinking: A Love Story. I can identify with so much of that book.

This entry is all over the place, making no real narrative sense, just me wanting to get all this stuff off my chest.



Comments:

belle1968 is working hard...

Get Help Right Now!! Don’t wait for people to pity you and drag you to a rehab. Have some self control please and also some self respect..

I guess by reading your entries, you have had your own experiences with alcoholism through the person you married. And I am not going to judge your experiences, but I will say that this issue is a lot more than just self-respect or self-control, and to reduce it to that would be an oversimplification,

belle1968 is working hard...

I did not remark to your comment going by my experiences because if I had to do that I wouldn’t know what to say. If I had something to add I would say it to my husband, right? Anyway, I agree that for you this issue is more than self respect or self control but if you need to get out of your situation, that’s the first step u take before it gets really messy, and it does believe me.you have to say to yourself that ‘no, I am not liking the way this all is going so please..let’s get out of this’ and then mean it. Slowly, you’ll make progress. Trust me, it is as simple as that. You will fail two hundred times but here, your own effort is really necessary.

Welcome to 43

Youve made a good start by coming here. Its not easy but ive seen it done here, just by posting and doing a few things to prevent e relapse. You definetely have a drinking problem and youve admitted it to yourself. Well done. Get yourself some non alc drinks, get all and i mean all the booze out of your apt, start getting some exercise and find something non alcoholic to do. Stay away from drinking situations till you can handle them without alcohol. Post here lots and lots. Figure out what your triggers are, and think about taking something like l glutamine to kill the urge to drink. Its a total bitch and a half to quit but you can do it.

Kaslo

I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with things we can all relate to here. The morning after is the worst, but seriously, you are okay right now. Don’t beat yourself up about what could have happened, it didn’t happen, everything is alright. I want to quit drinking because of all the things I have to lose if I continue. I wake up in the middle of the night after a lot of drinking and panic and check on my pets, car, wallet, phone, just to make sure everything is where it should be…
I would rather wake up refreshed like I did this morning… made coffee, walked the dog, went jogging. Today I feel in control of my life and so grateful to not have to piece the night together and cringe when I finally do.
I tend to start drinking slowly after a short time sober, that turns into a daily habit quickly. I’m still on the path, but maybe this is my time to finally quit for good? I’m on my new day 3 after years of trying with some 6 month sober stints… stick to this site, it has done wonderful things for so many people. good luck! and seriously, stop obsessing about what happened/ could have happened, you obviously made it through in one piece, as did your cat! write down your feelings right now and keep it with you, pull it out and read it every time you are tempted to drink!

Thanks!

Thank you all! Good advice that I plan to take. Researching where to buy some l glutamine right now, thanks Kaslo. Elee, thanks for helping me to put things in perspective. I want to feel control of my life. I’m trying to exercise self-control, thanks Belle.

Welcome

You’ve come to the right place.

Post often – it helps.

Neally

russdog a'int going out like that

Neally said it best...

Go back and read some of the shit that brought me here :-(

This is a damn tough goal but this place can and does help!

If nothing else do it for your poor cat!


OliverSebastian has gotten 3 cheers on this entry.

 

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