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OtterGirl537 verve; integrated

find my happy spot again (read all 52 entries…)
Today

I came home to the remnants of the last week with S: Dirty dishes in the sink, disassembled snow board, work clothes strewn on the bed. It was a hard thing to come home to since he got on a plane this morning. Now come the questions. Now come the challenges. Now come the scary thoughts.



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OtterGirl537 verve; integrated

So

Lots of things jump to mind. First, he’s my “type” which I had promised myself not to date anymore. Second, I’m starting a new long distance relationship right after the miserable end of the last long distance one. Third, I’ve known him all of a month (am I crazy?).

I’m also trying to keep from thinking too much about the future and expectations. I’m afraid that I will try to turn this into some fairy tale and not pay attention to the things I really should.

I’m scared about even thinking about planning where I go next to be with a guy because I’ve done that too.

Mostly this is just a little overwhelming because my plan did what plans always seem to do and went side ways…

(This comment was deleted.)

OtterGirl537 verve; integrated

It's just harder

to ignore the negatives when he’s not physically present. Because when I’m with him, I’m in the now. Around him, I have these vivid and joyful images of my life. He calls me his Queen and pampers me to no end. He’s even told me that just sitting with me is more distracting than his video games (which is a huge statement from a big time gamer). He’s so funny and makes me laugh. He’s very romantic. In so many ways, he feels made for me (one of those crazy thoughts). The harder part is that I’m only just getting to know him and now, there’s no more physically present. The reminders are less tangible and I have to THINK about the things I like about him rather than having them be self-evident when he’s with me.


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