I was addicted from the first puff of that sweet sweet reefer. I was doing it with my friend. He actually died instantly; his heart exploded after taking a bong hit. I survived, but I craved something stronger, a bigger rush. I moved on to opium, then heroin, cocaine, and finally I found myself in a gutter, shooting up airplane glue. Before I knew it, I was at the Multnomah County Courthouse in Portland, Oregon, getting gay married. Steve, my partner, was addicted to crack. He wanted to get an abortion. I told him, “Steve, you can’t get an abortion. You’re a man.”
“It’s my hot body, I’ll do what I want!” he said. That’s when I knew I had to let Jesus Christ into my life. I did, and he helped me to overcome my addictions. Now I spend ten hours per day praying and flagellating myself, and I’ve never been happier. I routinely visit Planned Parenthood clinics to encourage the whores of Babylon to stop using birth control and if they’re wearing skirts that go above the knee, to cover their shame. I’ve never felt so close to the Lord Almighty as when I’m contacting my senator to demand that he help his fellow republicans (or “God’s Sheep”, as I like to call them) break down the satanic wall between church and state.
Comments:
Congratulations
that is so wonderful to hear. i cant belive that about your friend that died. i have never heard of anyone dying from smoking pot. i am so proud to hear that you got saved and found Jesus. he will pull you through anything as long as you live for him and through him. i hope you always stay with him and never stray away again.
Guys can’t have abortions??? what??? That bitch tricked me!!!
I need steve or a whore from babylon to ease my pain…jesus just can’t fix this one.
Save me Jeebus
What is your favorite brand of airplane glue? Mine is Mahapallassalamutamanam Gurpratalamashnusalam, it is imported from Sri Lanka, I only use the best. Oh, I am Canadian and I just got legally gay married to Jesus. Soon I will divorce him and get 1/2 the earth as my alimony (his beard tickles my nuts when he blows me).
did he seriously die from a bong hit, i dont see how? did he have somthing wrong with his heart to begin with?
smoke weed
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GOD!!!!! Religion was created because all you people are to afraid to relize that live is like candle. When you die it is like the candle is blown out it just ends there is not life after death there is only nothingness. Dont fool yourself. And if there is why not do drugs i dont recall the bible telling me not to smoke pot if you die there is always life after death. thats what i thought if you where truely faithful then you wouldn,t care.
hahahahaha wtf?
wtf there is no way you can die from marijuana so he didn’t die from taking a bong hit he died cuz he took to big if a fucking breath or somthin lol and you said you were gay and that you are but buddys with jesus lol thats a really funny story man i like it. you should make a story about that
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