froufroufrou is thinking about what 2012 should bring
So I’ve written a page last week. I felt pretty good about it, but anxiety and stress are back again. I felt good enough last week to promiss my supervisor a chapter on Wedsnesdaymorning. But of course, I’ve been putting it off and off, now not even near finishing the chapter.
Sometimes I wish I could just be a different person. Change my charactertraits for some other, become a more determined and focused person. I want to finish my thesis so badly before June, I HAVE TO. But, I just can’t find the motivation, the courage, the inspiration, or whatever, to do it.
I know the only way to do this is, is by taking it a step at the time, to sit down every day and just do some work, if even just a little. It’s better than rewatching Gilmore Girls all day, me thinks.
And now I’m in this situation where I have to think wether I’ll cancel my workday tomorrow with some lame excuse, and feel quilty about it, so I have another day for my chapter. I just started this job, so I don’t want to disappoint, but finishing my thesis is much much much more important than that job. I just wished I felt the importance of it all on the moments I have time as well. Now I’m just making myself feel rotten and disappointed with myself, and I’ll probably can’t sleep of all the anxiety tonight.
Why can’t I be a better person? :(