oblea100x you came on your own, that's how you'll leave
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
If I looked at my body through someone else’s eyes, about 24. But I act younger. I feel so careless with life, so naive and hopeful, and yet I’m living my own life for myself. A bit reckless at times, and I make too many mistakes to handle sometimes, but I still think I have the maturity to deal with these things and try to learn something from them. So, uh, yeah. 18.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying, or trying half-heartedly. You can’t always win.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
We do some things we don’t like in order to do the things we like or because they lead to our well being. I don’t like to eat vegetables, but I eat them anyway because they make my body good. I don’t like to go to the bank, but I go because I want to cash my money and trade it for things I like.
We don’t do many things we like because we’re afraid. It’s fear of failure, fear of stepping out of our comfort zones, fear of finding out that what we thought we liked isn’t good enough anymore, fear fear fear…
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Yes and no. I say a lot of things that I won’t do, but I do a lot of things that I’ve never spoken about. So…?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
TV. It’s dehumanizing.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Filming historical documentaries/epics. Don’t judge.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
Both. I do love this job, but it really is just a stepping stone to do what I love the most. I’m getting to my real destination, but the road itself isn’t half bad.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
Uh… I’m 22… so, I guess I’d be working on finding and marrying the love of my life and having kids ASAP hahaha. I’d stop fretting over sunblock and most old-age diseases/conditions, over far-off retirement…
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Always, obviously, but just recently did I start taking an active part in the decision making. I started choosing to do something- whatever I want- all the time instead of choosing to let others tell me what to do. Absolutely liberating.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Doing things right. I don’t always know if what I’m doing is the right thing to do, but if I’m gonna go for it, I’m gonna REALLY go for it. All in, and I’m a perfectionist at it.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
This has actually happened irl twice. Both times I told them that the person is a close friend of mine whom I adore, and smiled sweetly. Then came a very awkward silence and the discussion suddenly changed topics. If it didn’t change, I’d excuse myself. I know not everyone can like everyone and it’s not my job to change their minds, but I won’t listen trash about a person I care for.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Of course. Breaking the law is so easy nowadays, it’s not a big thing to say.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Insanity. I hate that word. It’s not letting me understand this question. :(
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
“than most people” Well… I don’t watch TV, don’t listen to the radio, don’t drink soda, I have good grammar (I mean in Spanish) and won’t even consider dating someone who writes to me (texts, emails, facebook inboxes…) like an illiterate jackass.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because we’re not the same person, thankfully.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Visit Ireland. I don’t have the money… and I’m planning a trip to Japan, so I’ll probably go afterwards.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Old clothes. Daddy issues.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Seattle. It has rainy weather, beautiful scenery, and it’s next to the ocean.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Uh, no, I don’t. I mean… why would I? People do that?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
A worried genius. I love learning, and the worrisome part wouldn’t hold a candle to all there was to discover.
22. Why are you, you?
I picked out things I liked here and there, evolved according to my environment and influences, and ended up a mix of everything. Just like everybody else. Is this meant to be a tricky question?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Hell no. I’m a terrible friend. I’m selfish and conceited and lose contact easily, and lots of other bad things in a friend.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
When a good friend moves away, because it’s like a bucket of cold water splashed in your face without warning. You’re left so lonely so suddenly. Losing touch is gradual and easy to handle.
25. What are you most grateful for?
Mom. My health.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Losing all of my old memories. They’re gone anyway. Bring me the future, I say!
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
No. You only find the truth in something by being curious and doing some work yourself, you challenge it. Uuuuuuunless it comes to you by chance, but that’s not always the case.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
No, I’m healing. I’m glad I went through all of that, it made me strong.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
Whenever I was playing with my cousins, because I felt like I was part of something and it was carefree and amazing.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
When I left home and didn’t know what I was doing in this world and had no idea about my future and my present and I started crying harder than ever and I felt the blood on my head thump wildly and it was like crushing my skull, and I fell down on my knees and they started bleeding and I realized that I was alive for me.
32. If not now, then when?
As soon as I apply my lipstick.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Nothing. I just don’t have the cash to go there at the moment. I will. By December/November, hopefully.
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
All the time, with sis.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because they prioritize different things than what they preach. Love isn’t high on that list.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Uhh… I’d quit after a year or two. Come on, let me live this fully!
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
If you enjoy it, it’s not really work, so I choose the latter.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Sort of. I mean, it’s raining and I don’t want to go outside, so I’m staying in by myself with my laptop and my books. I’ve lived this before, but I don’t mind any repetitions.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
Last November. It’s personal. (AS IF everything else here wasn’t. hahaha.)
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Mom. Without a doubt.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
What. :/ NO. Seriously, people? You can buy fame, you can become attractive anytime. 10 years??? You’re never getting those back!
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Being alive is about keeping your vital organs working. Truly living is giving it meaning.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
When despite all the pros/cons, deep inside you already know what you’re going to do. Then it’s time to stop fooling yourself, you’re just wasting time. Just do it.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
You never know when a mistake will become a life-altering situation in an unrecoverable way. Mistakes are good, but no one wants to mess up so bad they end up hopeless.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I’d stop shaving my legs.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
A second ago. Hahahahaha. Before that, last night, when I was trying to fall asleep.
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
Epics, history, legends, heroes, larger than life situations and characters, honor… Well, I read a lot about these topics.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Maybe. I’ll remember that I wasn’t too afraid/lonely/sad/shy to get dressed up looking gorgeous and going outside by myself.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I’m making them for myself and it’s a wonderful thing to know.