It became a sort of game style thing for me at some point. For several years I sort of vagabonded about making money mostly as a masseuse. Some fiber art. Eventually the stress of too little money combined with the natural oppression that beset women who rubbed bodies at that time and place overcame me.
Eventually the ordinary desk job I ran away to became something vibrant and exciting. The internet happened and my job became tracking global criminal networks. The device on my desk became a super duper pooper scooper.
You can only do that sort of thing for so long before the wear and tear on the psyche and the body becomes too much. I did this very mundane thing and took a test my company offered that helped you discover what you really want to do. Of course by this time in my life, all my early dreams had devolved into the weird puzzle solving work I had been doing, but I remembered when I wanted truly to be a National Geographic photographer.
So this test showed me a couple things about myself that I can’t say I knew. One is that I am a risk taker – more of a one than 99% of others who took this silly test. How much the test showed and how much sort of came to me as I thought things over is lost in time at this point, but I realized I wanted to come back to Hawaii. And live a different life.
So my sweetie and I sold our house and moved, built a treehouse, started a wedding business, and live beside the ocean. Right now. We indulge the vagabond by moving every few months. We are working our way around the island. The wedding business is intimate weddings only, so we don’t have a million things to balance.
So is this a passion? Not like the crime thing was a passion. I am doing photography for money and pleasure. I write wedding ceremonies. I get to create atmosphere and scene and plant orchids in trees and watch them bloom. I move freely between ocean and rainforest. Passion is something else, and oddly, I think it has to do with a time in life. I sit here and watch the shadows of clouds crossing the ocean. My dogs are anxious for me to stop this and come play with them. It is hard to envision a happier way to live.