I sat in front of my computer and stared at the screen. I was thinking about relationships, my past ones, my non existent ones… and then it occurred to me to change my mind.
I was focused on being loved in the future, instead I switched it to how I was loved in the past. I began to cry as i realized in different ways, some small some huge I was loved. Then I asked a truly difficult question….
"Have I truly loved someone without expectation, dictation, or controlling ways? Have i given to another with the thought that everything I am, have and are I can give to them so that they can experience more?"
Then the tears flowed like a river and in that moment I knew I was ready to die because I had lived. two months later I fell in love. :)