wtf?
Who the hell is David Sedaris? He’s obviously some second rate scwhag actor, or the member of a boy band. I’d love to meet him, and punch him in the face. David Sedaris, i’m coming for you.
Comments:
The idea alone shall give me nightmares.
Sir Aaron is!
You Still Drawing On Cave Walls Monkeyfoot?
You might want to learn one word – Google – before your put your foot in your mouth. If you still have no luck, maybe you could shag a few actors and maybe they could clue you in.
Yes.
The cave walls are covered in the feces of David Spade and the stem cells from the umbilical cord of Julia Roberts’ last child.
What is this “google” you speak of? It sounds like a math thing. Math is hard. I like doing housework.
In as far as your ambitions to “shag” actors, i’m not really sure what that means. Do actors like rugs? Is this David Sedaris guy an actor? Should I send him a rug? Furthermore, if I do send this rug, can you guarantee that he’ll clue me in?
I’m skeptical.
Sir Aaron is!
Spade is in the House
Does David Spade know you’re doing his act? Do you have to pay risiduals? Is it like one of those set ups that Gallagher and his brother had only in your case you are the twin that goes on-line and works for free?
Spadeism
The only thing I ever copy from David Spade is his hair. Really, how could you not? It’s like a rushing river rapid of pelican urine. Is that an upside-down pelican in your profile photo?
Gallagher and I go way back to when he was only squashing kumquats. I said “hey man, you might get a bigger audience if you had some larger fruit.” He was timid and hesitant, but I maintain that it paid off in the long run. I receive residuals from that.
Regarding my twindom, you are half-right. I am not the twin of David Spade, but rather the umbilical cord of Julia Roberts’ other child.
I hope this answer meets with your satisfaction, as I am running out of ridiculous crap to say.
Love always,
The foot.
