So I know that as far as STD’s go, this one is pretty tame. It could be worse right? Could have been HIV. Could have been herpes.
But the thing is, I still feel like my love life is over. I just don’t think I can in good conscious ever have sex with a woman again, without telling her that I COULD give her this virus. And when exactly do you bring up something like this?
First date? She’ll run away so fast, it’ll be like watching a Looney Toons character with the spinning legs as she tries to get traction.
Second date? She’ll probably choke on her chicken parmigiana, as she searches for the nearest exit.
Third date? Hell, if we haven’t at least shared a kiss by now, there probably isn’t any chemistry anyway. And you never know where a kiss will lead, so if we don’t talk about it by now…it could already be to late. Would I be strong enough to stop in the middle of being intimate and say…”Um…I have something I need to tell you first?”
I honestly just can’t imagine ever having this conversation with someone.
So…bad news: My love life is over.
Good news: Dating isn’t cheap, so I guess I’m going to save a lot of money. Also, I guess I no longer have to work on attracting a woman. Hell, I can become an old cantankerous fat guy now. Who’s gonna care?