I just had to yell at the kid because he did’t do the dishes as he “thought I was going to do them.” I yelled. I said I would help, which I did and he was responsible for the rest as that is why he’s getting allowance.

Then after seething for about a half hour I fired him from dishes duty and reduced his allowance. I felt that he was getting too much anyway when we have to constantly get on him about doing the work. If I have to yell and plead to get him to do the work and my blood boils, he should not get rewarded for that!

So when I went back to working on this article that I’ve been working on since 6 pm, it’s now 1 am and I’m just about in tears. I know all of this, the yelling, firing, and tears is because I’m tired.

What’s scary is how many times I felt like this in the past, and I thought it was because I didn’t like my life. The life was fine, I was just making decisions and thinking about whether or not I liked my life at times like now, low points. And while I rarely have to straighten out the children and usually I don’t wait until the last minute to work on my articles, so that I have to spend 6 hours straight on them. Both situations can be avoided, and will be from no on.