eMJerk knows better.
I had something slip me up emotionally right when I got to work this morning. At first, I did well – I stayed calm, I recognized that I had the chance to try to do better, to not let it send me crashing. I thought about everything on SuperBetter. About recognizing my bad guys and countering them with power-ups and positive self-talk. But I crashed anyway, and I did it hard. Work was too busy for me to step out, so I was hyperventilating, crying uncontrollably, making pizzas, trying to keep at least that much together. Eventually I calmed down, but then something else triggered the feelings as the first time, but with the addition of a really negative inner dialogue, shaking hands, more uncontrollable breathing and crying. Once I get going I can’t seem to stop, even though I’m consciously trying to help myself. I feel like a real asshole. I feel like my friends and coworkers think I’m totally disingenuous.