It’s been five days since I broke off my engagement. We’re still living together since he has no job and nowhere to go. It seems like we can be great friends if I just keep in mind that he’s mentally ill and therefore not always in complete control of himself. But I cry constantly. We were supposed to be together as a couple for life, not together as friends until he gets a job. He’s very lovable, but he’s just too sick and too badly traumatized to participate in a healthy marriage at this point. I wish he could have been ready. But he’s not and may never be. You can’t have a relationship based on what you think someone has the potential to become. I had to let go.

I’m afraid to face the day when he leaves. I need my space back. The stress of it all is making me sick and compromising my ability to work, but once he leaves I’m alone. Really alone.