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Love and accept myself (read all 3 entries…)
restless

I couldn’t sleep last night, into the early morning, my brain reeled as I stayed in a state of panic over my impending financial failure…also, I suspect from the remnants of the energy drink I had late afternoon.

Round about the time I was ready to allow my sweet pillow to convince me to rest my tooth started shooting pain that lasted several hours…I finally collapsed onto the recliner downstairs as to not miss my first arriving clients in a few hours.

Ugh.

I’d said that my groove was returning. I did notice that when the text messages stopped, it appeared to be somewhat relevant to my confidence/happiness level. Not completely, I’m not that stupid. The toothache was super discouraging too, I must say.

I’m trying to formulate a simple but possibly effective plan to generate a little bit of income so that I can then, hopefully work on the second part of the plan which would be the climb out of poverty. The first part of the plan being the climb out of crisis.

We all spoke, Sunday night about stages of sexuality and the mid life sexual peak theory for women was brought up. I did some enlightening and thought provoking reading last night.

My brain is still an awful fog and my tooth is threatening to ruin my morning.

I’d had, lately, likely fairly common mixed feelings about self worth. Part of me feels super sexy and confident at my tender age and partly I feel completely done and removed from the dating/romance game.

I can’t remember a time that I’ve had such little sex. I’d like to reflect on my sexual desire but I’m far too busy and preoccupied to notice except for what is becoming an all too familiar nagging frustration.

I certainly must find a way to gracefully and sexily navigate this somewhat awkward and confusing phase of womanhood.



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