last night was a serious relapse. id done about a week with no binge/purge or cutting.
then i do all at one time. still in the down spiral, but now im binge-eating fruit, so i stopped the junk binge early-ish. :\
Don’t let them derail you. I have not cut in about a year. I still feel the impulse to cut though when I feel frustrated, upset, or depressed. How long have you struggled with cutting? In terms of emotional challenges and coping, there are all sorts of unhealthy vices that can lure a vulnerable person to self-destruction. Cutting was my addiction. It became my consistent recourse whenever I was emotionally overwhelmed.
I was stupid enough to start only about… a year ago now?
properly anyway. I seem to have skipped the starting slow stuff, i started out making mini competitions to see if i could go a bit deeper or wider or more painful than before. drown emotions? pfft, i like to get completely out of my head!!!!(yesterday i got a talking too about combining certain things that thin blood with cutting…) :\
Well done on surviving, i dont know how you did it!!! :o
I used to do the personal competition, to make each cut longer, wider, deeper, and otherwise more gory than the last. When your emotions are met with that abrupt, physical burning pain, along with the rush of adrenaline, it easily can turn into a familiar ritual on which you can become dependent.
I could not have stopped on my own. If you don’t already, you should seek the help of a therapist. When you verbalize your thinking patterns that rationalize the cutting in your mind, your therapist will counter those thoughts with healthier, rational ones that you may never have even considered. It helps you to realize, and recognize, how irrational and unacceptable it is to cut yourself—even though cutting might feel completely appropriate to you in the moment.
cogs10 follow love
that was great advice!! got to counter the thoughts first, reprogram. then think about the positive things that leads one away from the edge.