Ferrin ...a bright, but ultimately strange girl.
the way I love is mainly to feel it. I have a hard time showing it, saying it. I don’t know how to talk to him about anything serious. I don’t know how to talk about anything. I started keeping everything about myself TO myself when I was 13. It’s all I know. I know how to keep to myself. I know that nobody wants to constantly hear about my problems and worries – about how sad I am. That’s why I keep everything to myself. That’s all I think about. And he wants me to open up. And he says that’s “how a relationship works”. And he says, basically, that what we have isn’t even a real relationship, which really fucking hurts to hear. This is the first relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m 21. But he’s said something about it needing to be more than just doing things together and sex. I had kind of been feeling that it was more than that… This may be the longest entry about a goal I may have ever written. But it’s emotionally charged, so I’m not surprised.