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lovingmex43 is focused for 2013

stay sober (read all 107 entries…)
my first AA meeting

I attended my first AA meeting tonight. It was fucking scary just walking in the door. I was worried about meeting somebody I know. Worried more that I would be embarrassed because I would not know how things work. I was worried about having to talk to some somebody or out loud.

It was the first time that I ever spoke the words out loud, “I am an alcoholic” I am still trying to get a grip around the fact that I am. So saying it out loud made me feel like I was lying.

I don’t know how the program works. I am not sure where to even begin. I am too damn shy to walk up to somebody and ask them to be my sponsor. The group I went to was a beginners group thinking that that would help me figure it out. It didn’t. The room was filled with mostly young people. I think I would prefer an older person as a sponsor, and probably a woman. I am not sure how to go about this.

Any thoughts, help out there?



Comments:

wren You'll not see nothing like the mighty wren!

You deserve a lot of credit just for showing up!

This is not an easy thing to do! Many people never do muster the courage to go.

I suggest that you try several different meetings. You’ll find that they all have a different feel to them, and some will feel better to you than others.

You don’t have to pick a sponsor immediately. This is someone who can play an important role in your life, so it is okay to take your time and choose carefully. I know people who have been sober for decades and have never had a sponsor. If you choose a sponsor who you later find is not a good fit, you can (and should) change. I’ve seen people in AA who actively promote themselves as sponsors and almost seem to collect sponsees, and I personally think some of them are not all that healthy.

When you see someone who has the kind of life and the kind of presence that you would like to have for yourself, that is a good person to consider as a sponsor. I also think it is good to go into the relationship with an idea of what you want from your sponsor. You and your sponsor should sit down at the start and define your relationship, at least a bit.

In my opinion, the thing you should do right now, aside from getting to a meeting every day, is to get a copy of the Big Book and copy of the 12&12 and do some reading in each every day.

lovingmex43 is focused for 2013

Thanks Wren

This helps a lot. You cleared up some questions for me. I feel a lot less pressure now to find a sponsor as I thought that having one was a key component to the program.

I will pick up the books you suggested and begin reading.

wren You'll not see nothing like the mighty wren!

You are very welcome!

I’m glad I could help.

mrsrad is reengaging with the working world

Wren is right on

A sponsor sponee relationship is a very important one so choose the one that has what you want. It needs to be built on trust. Keep going to meetings. Try to find one where the attendees have a lot of time in recovery and listen to what they have to say. And you can always change sponsors if it isn’t working for you. I loved my first sponsor but when she told me no to date mrrad after I had been around a year, it was time to change. If I had listened to her on that particular thing I would not have been with Mrrad for the last 24 years. Sponsors are there to help you work the steps but they are not therapists, lawyers or financial advisors, or medical professionals.

Mrrad has been around over 25 years and has had 4 different sponsors in that time. I’ve had 3.

And most definitely a woman. I’m a traditionalist in that respect, I’ve seen too much 13th stepping (where romantic relationships take advantage of a newcomer)

Just remember that every person in the room had to walk in the door the first time. You are very courageous. It gets better.

myspecialreason

I am just about to do the same. Going to 4 week outpatient treatment center then on to AA . My appointment is in a few days and I so scared I am going to see someone there I know. I do know it I don’t do this is will make recovery alot harder. I am a women and hope to find a sponsor with a few years under her belt. I have been putting this off for so long but I finally had it.

lovingmex43 is focused for 2013

good for you!

I am finding the meetings are helping me tremendously. I have not been able to go every day like I wanted because I work such a long shift, (13 1/2 hrs) and by the time I get home and sleep and shower and eat, I am done for the day. I am still attending as often as possible and keeping my eye out for a sponsor. I think I may have spotted her today. A woman that I felt immediately comfortable with. She was speaking with somebody after the meeting so I didn’t want to disturb her but I stuck around and helped clean up where I would normally just leave right away. I am getting better. I am identifying my triggers. I am staying sober. I have not yet started on my steps, mostly because I haven’t yet received the 12 by 12 book I ordered. But every meeting has helped me, every meeting I heard something that made me feel better, or not so alone, or that I am not crazy, and that a life of sobriety is and can be done.

It has been the best decision I have made in a long time.


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