flankdubtechnojazz is determined to do better this year
I increasingly seem to dwell on my past experiences, especially my screw-ups and get incredibly angry with myself over being so stupid and pathetic. I know there’s nothing I can do now to change the past and that all this self-hatred really isn’t constructive, yet I continue regardless. I guess it’s habitual, but try as I might to focus on my present and future, I can’t seeem to break free of the cycle: low moods/self-hatred, then a stupid/pathetic action, followed by reminiscence, which brings me back to low moods/self-hatred. Over the christmas holiday I’ll try to turn things around, I’ll improve my appearance and join clubs and try to find a girlfriend. Then I’ll have more confidence and fewer negative things to keep replaying in my head and torturing myself with.