Taqwa_Salah ups and downs
What a long term goal! It is always in my mind whenever I started something new. So lately I have heard about a non-profit organization that targets the education issue here is Sudan especially in Khartoum state. And they are doing great effort knowing that most of them are still college students. So I was so excited and motivated to be part of what those people do. I contacted them asking about their voluntary teaching program and I got more information of how I could help.
I choosed to teach history to 8th graders and it has nothing to do with my I.T major at all! It is just that I felt like I loved the idea of me teaching history, it is something that I love and then I would do good I guess.
So in my first day there in the school I met one of the teachers and he was just complaining about how bad is the state of the school, no qualified teachers, no support, the kids hate it there, parents are not helpful….etc. He was so pessimistic.
I was shocked at the first that only 4 kids attended the extra class organized by the volunteers, but I did nt blame them honestly, when we lack the motivation and inspiration in our life, we won’t finish what we have started. I stayed with those four watching while another volunteer was teaching them.
I felt like what those kids don’t want fancy bags or notebooks, they don’t care if they have chairs or are sitting in the ground, or whether they have a fan or A.C. What they need is more than just extra classes. What they need is really big. They need to change the way they think, the way they look to life, their old prospectives, they need inspiration, they need someone to take them out of the darkness of ignorance ,neglecting and illiteracy. This is what I have personally felt. They need the INSPIRATION.
But I felt guilty, how easy is to talk! People like me found better chances and better education but they struggle. I thanked God million times in my head. There were a lot of mixed feeling in that class…I was confused and confused. :/
But as Coldplay sing : “Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said that it would be this haaaaaard” !!! It is not that simpleand easy! To inspire someone and make the change in their lives is really I dunno! Not that simple! And everyday I feel like I still have a really long way to go to fulfill this goal. I have promised myself that I would do my best and fight when it comes to my life list.
Im a lil bt afraid of this experience and happy at the same time, how confusing! I asked myself many questions of whether I am the person who is destined to do that kind of change? Or am I just complicating the whole thing?
At the end I told myself that I should give it a try. I wont lose anything and I am doing something that I love.
Soooooo, I dunno what else to say :-/ I am an over-thinking person and I do really hate that! Cant stop thinking too much for just two continued seconds!