It’s so strange how fast food is sort of like a drug. I did end up eating McDonald’s yesterday and afterwards felt terrible. I didn’t even eat a lot but I knew it was not the best choice for lunch.
After that, I wrote in my food journal about how gross it was and how gross I felt. Yet today, driving home from work I was starving. And all I could think about was McDonald’s fries. It was so weird, like i was a fast food junkie.
I really need to stop this. I mean, I don’t do it a lot and maybe that’s why it effects me the way that it does. Still, I am very concerned about my health and the health of my unborn child. I am going to go food shopping tomorrow and stick to brown bagging my lunch.
I really wonder if I’ll ever kick this habit. It’s like I do great and then something happens or I feel like I’m depriving myself or it calls my name. I quit smoking years ago, and it’s almost like the same thing. One minute I’d be fine and then the next I’d pick up a cigarette. My addiction to fast food is somewhat the same with cigarettes when I smoked. I didn’t need it all the time, and could go a long time with out it, but always had to fit it into my life somewhere.
At one point in my life I thought that being a smoker helped define me like it was part of my personality or something. Is that how I feel about fast food? Maybe. There is a bit of nostalgia that goes along with it and a bit of something else that I can’t seem to explain…. Maybe that’s addiction.
Either way I really want to figure out why I eat it, why I feel compelled to eat it, and why I think I may not be able to stop.