I’ve wanted to learn the drums for ages. I’m always tap tap tapping on stuff. So I set myself a new year’s resolution of playing a gig as a drummer before the end of 2005.

But, where to start? I live in a shared flat in London, and my flatmates aren’t keen on my plan to buy a drumkit. I considered an electric 80s Phil Collins style one with headphones, but the thought made me want to cry.

So I need to stop fannying about and just get on with it. I’m just not sure how yet.