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Lune Fromage: Born of Stardust dances the line between two worlds...

stop pulling my hair (read all 311 entries…)
Days 12 and 13

Today started off really poorly because yesterday ended really poorly. My mom won’t talk to me for some reason and it’s really upsetting to me. It makes me stressed out and I pull. Last night I pulled and now, this morning, however I am trying to stop. I am just so lonely and sad and it’s frustrating to worry about whether my mother is mad at me or not all the time. It feels like I am walking on eggshells sometimes. I love my family, but it can be hard. And worse, I feel like I’m putting my brother in a difficult position and I do not want to do that because he’s my best friend. It’s my duty to protect him.



Comments:

gaara_chan is making the best of it.

I know that walking on eggshells feeling. For me it’s with my sister, but it always sucks when you feel you have to walk softly around a family member. I hope that things get better for you soon.

Lune Fromage: Born of Stardust dances the line between two worlds...

Encouragement and the void

Thank you for all of your encouragement! It really does feel quite nice to receive!

I am living in a foreign country by myself and I don’t really have any good friends here yet, so it’s stressful for me to have to worry about what I did to upset my mother all the time and worry about being all alone.

I have been having a lot of “if and ye gaze into the void, the void also gazes into you” kind of moments. It’s easy to feel lonely, a pervasive and deep-reaching kind of lonely.

But having just one person be nice and tell you that they have similar problems, reminds me that we are all one world and never truly alone. I just need to internalize that idea… which is hard. The loneliness makes it hard to do. But I do not want to get sucked into that.

gaara_chan is making the best of it.

You're never as alone as you might feel

You’re definitely right. No one is ever truly alone, no matter how much one might feel it. I’m certain you’ll make good friends with time, and then you’ll feel less lonely I hope.

As far as the stress about worrying about what you’ve done to upset your mother, I hope you’re able to get to a place where it doesn’t worry you so much. For me, with my sister, I’ve reached a point where if I feel I’ve done something to upset her I’ll apologize. If she accepts it we’ll move on together. If she doesn’t, then I move on on my own.

You can’t control how people feel about things you say or do, especially from so far away. The best you can do is try to make it right. If they can’t let it go that is their weight to carry. Life gets too hard otherwise.


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