finding inner peace is something that needs preparation and time. it’s more than just being at peace with yourself. you have to be at peace with others as well.
i started finding peace during my sophomore year in college. turning 20 was such a big deal for me that i wanted to seek more. it seems like i’m missing something and i don’t know why. bottom line is, i felt incomplete.
it was then that i tried searching for peace. i wanted contentment.. i wanted to be happy!! i tried to fix every single screw-up that i went through and tried to patch things up. i read the books from the “chicken soup for the soul” series and even “the purpose driven life.” i tried to put everything into writing check my progress as day passed by. apparently, nothing worked.
after graduation, i got a job at a local call center which turned my life around. i started to feel that i had purpose and i began to realize what the real world is all about. i became more responsible and more mature. then all of a sudden, everything was falling into it’s right place.
alas! i have found my inner peace. relationships were better and i wasn’t looking for anything at all. i’ve found the missing piece that completed me. or have i?!
a couple of months have passed and everything started to become ritualistic. it didn’t feel real and it didn’t seem right. i started to feel bothered about “not being bothered”. seems like this wasn’t the right path for me.
i started to create chaos after that. i didn’t start a war or anything :p i tried to mess around a bit just to add a little more color to what used to be black and white for a short period of time. it seems like a topsy-turvy world is a whole lot better than living in utopia. i realized that it is through chaos that we realize there’s peace and life should be lived that way it was meant to be. you don’t need peace to find content. you just have to learn from your mistakes and know how to stand up from a fall. peace is for the dead and not for the living. it is only though knowing that you’ve lived a full life before you can say you’re at peace. but for now, live on the edge.. *and get UGLY!! *
